We are in week two of the Christmas Season. I've had quite a time adjusting to our new place and settling in making it "feel" festive. In all honesty I have felt a bit broken this Christmas season. Christmas felt broken too. I didn't understand why I felt so emotional and why my heart ached so badly. I decorated the tree, made ginger bread houses, played the music, and decorated the house. Something about it all seemed "off". I didn't want to face the reality of what was making my heart break. It all felt broken because this is the first Christmas that my grandmother isn't here on earth to celebrate with us.
I was praying this morning and talking to God about how "broken" it all felt and how much I missed her. I asked him to fill my heart with joy, to show my children that Jesus came long ago to bring us all; Hope, Love, Peace and Joy especially during this season. I know that I am not alone in this, I know for many Christmas brings out many emotions (not always good) and sometimes they are too hard to bear them alone. It's okay if you feel sad, it's okay if you feel alone and it's okay if you feel like Christmas is broken or not the same this year. The truth is that you're not alone. God cares about you and wants to fill your heart with his gifts of Hope, Love, Peace and Joy. I'm grateful for a God who loves me even when my attitude or actions don't reflect his love in me. I am grateful for the family who I have here with me and that I can love on them and make new memories with. I am grateful that my sweet grandmother is at peace and basking gloriously in God's presence. I am grateful for the moments and the treasures I have stored in my heart when I think of her. No matter how broken my heart may feel, Christmas isn't broken.
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so
that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit".
Romans 15:13
This was last year. The last Christmas I would ever spend with her.
I am never one to turn down a coffee date. I would say among all my favorite pass times chatting with a friend at a coffee house is one of my faves. Today was no exception. I thought this coffee meeting was just an innocent and casual meet up. God had other plans. I was challenged and reminded by my friend that when God calls us to something we should always step out in faith (yes even when it's scary). Are you mind blown yet? Simple concept I know. But I still hesitate. I have been feeling the need to share this message, this stirring in me to share about God's goodness and I've kept it to myself. Why is it so scary? It shouldn't be difficult to share Jesus at all. Right?
I'm grateful for the moments God appoints and uses to remind us that we should trust him, follow him and know his plans are not ours. I am taking the steps towards this today, this moment, right now! So today, if you are hearing God but it's scary or you have no idea where to begin I encourage you to pray. Pray for boldness, pray for direction and pray for friends that will keep you on the right track. He is faithful and he will do everything to help you achieve his will in your life. So go! Go do it! Step out in faith, he's got your back, he really does.
